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He messaged me from his college’s Zoom graduation, which took place at the Jefferson Valley Mall-right next to my dad’s first post-divorce apartment. Occasionally I’d get the stray college kid but they’d rarely want to meet-up, and they were always hesitant to show their faces, out of fear that we could have gone to high school together, or that the wrong person would catch a glimpse.Įventually, I started talking to someone-who I will call Zach-that wasn’t so secretive. I received tons of offers from down-low guys in quarantine, mostly businessmen whose marital situation was…questionable at best. Very often they’re more than happy to send you nudes to round out that blank square they keep as their profile picture, but don’t ask them for a picture of their face-that’s too personal. They tend to have strict parameters for how they want to have sex with you. It can mean anything from a curious guy down to experiment, to a gay man that does not want to come out yet. “DL,” short for “down-low” is a term most people in the gay community are familiar with. Many of these enigmatic profiles include the tagline “DL.”
Few of them even dare to write a bio or include any information about themselves-Grindr has a drop-down menu where you can put everything from your weight to your preferred sexual positions.
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In Westchester, however, Grindr is full of grey, faceless profiles. I took my profile picture in the dining hall bathroom after I bought a pair of $90 pants from Zara. When opening up Grindr in Boston, you’ll typically find a sea of college twinks and older businessmen, almost all of them posing in front of their bathroom mirror smiling. When you open up Grindr, you are presented with a grid of little profile photos, and you can message anyone with reckless abandon. It markets itself as a “social media app,” Grindr is most commonly used for casual sex-there’s no swiping, and no “it’s a match!”-ing. Instead, I spent most of my time on my bed and scrolling through Grindr.įor the uninitiated, Grindr is a dating app primarily geared towards queer men, although it also welcomes trans-women and non-binary people.
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I told myself I would use this time to be productive: I’d finally start the columns I had been planning to write, I’d get back into learning French, and, finally, I’d teach myself how to skateboard. After COVID-19 touched down in America, I was forced to move out of my dorm and back into my childhood bedroom, which sat unchanged since I went to college three years ago when I peeled my Lana Del Rey poster off the wall-to make room for a calendar I impulse-bought-I discovered that the tape had started to mold. My mom lives in Westchester County, New York, a place that is most known for being the home of the Clintons’, and the last place Robert Durst’s wife was seen alive.